Day 28 Without Anxiety

Screen Unseen
What's The Challenge?
Go to the cinema by myself and watch a surprise film.

Why The Anxiety?
Going to the cinema is usually classed as a group activity, and I have no fear of going to the cinema with a group of people, my family or on a date. However, the thought of going to the cinema on my owns scares me slightly. Not only am I worried about how weird I will look, (billy no mates, sat by herself), and because I'm on my own may stand out more, I no longer have the safety of numbers. I will be sat in a dark room full of strangers for about 2 hours (if not more). Even typing that scenario is giving me anxiety, I feel I will be exposed and vulnerable, I'll be in the dark (have I mentioned my fear of the dark, yes, even now at my age), I'll have no control over who I sit next to and no backup or support should anything happen. For some reason, I also decided to go a "Screen Unseen" showing, so will have no idea what film I'm about to go and see ( I really don't make me things easy for myself do I?). The fear of the unknown and my lack of control are going to have a field day.

Anxiety before? 🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕
For those of you who don't know the "Screen Unseen" Showings are hosted at Odeon cinema's every month or two on a Monday evening. It's a chance to see an Exclusive Preview (they usually choose films that are expected to be a hit) and tickets are only £5. All you know about the film is that it won't be a horror (they have a separate "Scream Unseen" showings for fans of horror), you are given 4 clues about the film in the run-up to the screening, most of which are obscure. Here are the Four Clues, see if you can guess what the film is? Clue 1: Mostly Proper Nouns, Clue 2: Sounds Like Day Break, Clue 3: Heath is all relative, Clue 4: She Recently Smelt Tomcat. Any Ideas? I didn't know what to make of the clues and was worried I'd be watching a film I wouldn't like, but after a browse on Letterboxd, I had a few films in mind that it may be. I guess you could call my search for answers cheating, the not knowing was getting the better of me, and I was frustrated I couldn't crack the clues. By the time the day came (or evening in this case) I was a mixture of nervous excitement, the clues and mystery had made it into a game and I wanted to see whose guess was correct.

Anxiety During? 🔴🔴⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕
I had prebooked my ticket so I didn't have to go the cashier looking like a lemon and ask for one ticket. (Thinking back there are plenty of reasons why someone would buy just one ticket but my mind was in a negative overdrive). I also arrived after the start time and missed one or two adds so it wasn't as bright and obvious I was by myself. I quickly found my seat, I had chosen a spot in the front row aisle (seats for this event go surprisingly quickly), for a while I was sat with a seat or two between the people next to me and I was fine with that, I had my own personal space but as the adverts came to an end people (who had also turned up by themselves) took those empty spaces and the man next me was very adamat on using the arm rest between us so I found myself leaning more towards the aisle. As the curtains, part and the film title appears there are cheers, boos and a few "I knew it" from various people. The Death of Stalin started playing (did you guess it?), I knew nothing about this film and was worried it was going to be a serious documentary I wasn't sure I was in the mood for. I decided to give the film a chance and after the first few scenes It reminded me of French cinema and the films I'd watched growing up, the darker humour and puns were a nice change of pace, and I found myself relaxed enough to laugh out loud with the rest of the audience. It's almost as if we'd all come together to watch a play or a show and were reacting aloud together. I only began to feel self-conscious and anxious once the credits started to roll.

Anxiety After? 🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕
I fast walked (although it may have looked like a sprint) out of the cinema and made my way home in an unpleasant taxi ride(with the rudest, sexist taxi driver I've ever had). As soon as I was home I felt a fool for running out of the cinema the way I had, I realised I had actually enjoyed myself and I could have stayed in the moment, and taken my time with leaving. I didn't want to let the taxi driver dampen my whole experience, or make me feel worse, I had just been super brave and I think if I hadn't been feeling that way my encounter with the driver would have knocked me back. I'd highly recommend going to an Odeon "Screen Unseen", at only £5 a ticket it's a bargain, and a good idea for a date night, catch up with friends, or simply to treat yourself.

Update?
I have been back to the cinema by myself and I am sure I will do so again. It almost seems a little odd to be a group activity now, you go as a group and sit next to each without any interaction for a good few hours. All things considered, I still think it's a brilliant solo activity as well as a group activity, I don't think there should be any stigma about going to the cinema alone. I also don't feel you should miss out on a cinema experience if no one else is able to make it, treat yourself!

If you have any Challenge Ideas; Please comment down below and let me know.
Remember to check out The Video!

Thanks for Reading
xo

Enjoy Day ? Why not catch up Day?

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