Day 7 Without Anxiety
Brunch
What's the Challenge?
Going to a restaurant I've never been to before with friends and having Brunch.
Why the Anxiety?
As Discussed previously (in Day 3), I have a big fear of restaurants and Whilst I may have aced it last time, I was with family and it was somewhere I knew. Today I'm in a bit of limbo, although I trust my fabulous friend Justine, she could be taking me to eat anywhere! It is the same, am I going to feel comfortable? what if people look at me? What if people judge what, how or how much I'm eating? I feel extremely self-conscious eating out and It really is one of my weirdest phobias. I'm worried I won't like the place, or the food and I already feel uncomfortable and feel myself shrinking to the size of a pea.
Anxiety Before? 🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴⭕⭕⭕⭕
The unknown is really not something that I am fond of. I feel rather sick and nauseous and am contemplating just hopping on the train and eating when I'm in the comfort of my own four walls (also known as home). Despite previous triumphs the fear of eating in public is still there, and going somewhere I’ve never been before is not a very warming concept.
Anxiety During? 🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕
The decor of the restaurant is the first matter to distract me from my thoughts. Observing my surroundings and liking the atmosphere and decor, choosing a seat where I can see the entirety or most of the restaurant (even if my cack is to the window on the high street) are two aspects that calm me down from a 6 to a 5 I feel a lore more at ease and after viewing the menu and prices I’m pleasantly surprised at the just how much I want to eat here! I ordered eggs benedict, orange juice, and a hot drink. I went up and ordered myself despite the twisting in my stomach. The conversation was brilliant and my friend was super understanding but as soon as the food arrives I once again feel the pressure of social norms and of prejudice and mocking of my little frame. After calming myself down to a 3 I was back up to a 5 and rising. The first bite is always the worst, thank goodness this food was delicious and I polished off the lot! We even stayed in the restaurant to finish our drinks after we had eaten and I felt comfortable -at a level 2 of anxiety-, before leaving the restaurant feeling rather proud.
Anxiety After? 🔴🔴⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕
Despite the initial Panic, I actually had a wonderful time and feel I have just shown you some of the benefits of working with your anxiety in a graded exposure style. By starting small with a restaurant I knew with my family and taking a step further with a restaurant I don’t know with friends, I was able to start this challenge with less anxiety than on Day 3, I also managed to make myself feel calmer quicker and ended the Challenge on a level 2 of anxiety. Don’t get me wrong, the fear is still there and the anxiety will be there the next time I go to a restaurant but engaging and completing this challenge means I know I can do it. I feel like I have given myself so much strength and room to breathe. I feel able to agree to go to lunch or dinner with a group of friends somewhere I have never been before. This means I don’t have to decline a birthday invite, catch up dinner or other because of the fear of having a panic attack or feeling uncomfortable eating somewhere unknown, I just did it and I was great!!
Update?
I have been out to eat with friends and family since this challenge and have been happy to accept invites and plan ahead as well as spontaneous meals out. This is not the last challenge eating out there will definitely be at least one more, I need to stop stressing so much and raising my anxiety before I enter a restaurant, despite knowing I will be okay I still have moment of fear and actual dread about eating out in public.
Thanks for reading
xo
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