Day 11 Without Anxiety
Volunteer Notice Email
What's the Challenge?
To Email the Scheme I was volunteering with and inform them of my anxiety.
Why the Anxiety?
I have been ashamed for so long about my diagnosis and whilst my family and close friends know I have anxiety and depression. This will be the first time I’m admitting it to someone in a ‘professional sense,’ someone who I have worked with about my recent diagnosis and essentially am giving resignation to my volunteering with the company and scheme. I’m nervous that they won’t understand it that because I have left it so long that may incur some sort of penalty!? I know this is not how they work but I have put this off for so long it is literally one of the scariest things I have had to do yet!!
Anxiety Before? 🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴⭕⭕⭕
I have decided to write out draughts on paper before actually sending the email. I mean what am I supposed to say? How can I word it properly so that I don’t sound like the mess I feel that I am? I feel nauseous and I’m shaking as I write my words down. Communication has not been my strong suit but I have been working so hard on improving this area and I really need to put my hard work into practice and get this email right. That tight band around my chest like someone is squeezing me and pushing down on my ribs is back, and I just want to lie down and sleep and avoid the world. Why is this so difficult?
Anxiety During? 🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴⭕⭕⭕
My anxiety isn’t going away and it isn’t going down, I have all my symptoms and tension headache is on its way!! Typing the words as they blur in and out and I have to stop and take a couple of breaks before coming back finishing the email. This may be the worst professional email I have ever sent but I feel this is the best I can do now. I have explained my situation, apologised, thanked them for the opportunity and the support and everything I learned whilst there. I’m disappointed in myself and feel so ashamed that I didn’t get in touch sooner, I feel like I let so many people down including myself and this is the first time I’m letting anyone else really know about my situation and diagnosis. Sure Enough, I’m in tears by the time I hit the send button, the ‘whoosh’ noise occurs and email disappears off my screen, informing me that the email has been sent and I burst into full-blown crying. A mixture of relief and underlying fear for the reply, I may not even get a reply!?
Anxiety After? 🔴🔴🔴⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕
Of Course, I got a reply. I’m so incredibly grateful for the reply I received. The Volunteer Services Manager and her kind words show so much understanding and support for my situation and I feel touched. The anxious symptoms calmed, as I read this reply, (crying to myself whilst walking my dog in a field-quite possibly the most Bridget Jones moment of my life so far-) faded away and I was left feeling supported, almost like this woman was sending a hug and ‘everything will be ok’ message. It was not the reply I was expecting (just call me Miss Doom and Gloom) however it was exactly the reply I needed and more than I could have ever hoped for. I want to thank this lady and anyone who has shown support or understanding to someone suffering from mental illness. This reply calmed me down and helped me to feel proud of myself for speaking up, I felt so much stronger and on a steady base to continue with the rest of my day and determined to complete the next challenge.
Update?
There have been a few days when I have been feeling down or I'm nervous to do something, I reread the reply I received and remind myself that I can do things. I am a good person and can get back on my feet. This reply still means the world to me and whilst I may not be ready to get back into volunteering just yet, I know it’s something I would love to get back into.
If you have any challenge Ideas, Please comment down below and let me know and remember to check out the video!
Thanks for reading
xo
Struggling with Mental Health?
Helpful Links:
Infoline: 03000 123 3393
Call: 111 for urgent needs
Thanks for reading
xo
Struggling with Mental Health?
Helpful Links:
Infoline: 03000 123 3393
Call: 111 for urgent needs
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