Day 19 Without Anxiety

Job Centre Interview


What's The Challenge?
To go to an interview at my local Job Center.

Why The Anxiety?
This is the first step towards a career, getting back to work and the humdrum of a normal life. My mind is already snowballing to from this simple meeting to a job application, forms, job interviews and the stress that comes with it. My mind works fast when it wants to paint an image of anxiousness all the tiny little thoughts snowball until I'm crushed under the weight of them. In all seriousness I shouldn't be worried, it's something thousands of people do every day. I'm worried I'll be judged or that this will make me feel like even more of a failure than I already do. I have never been to this place before, it's stepping out into the unknown once again, I have no idea who I am meeting. Quite frankly I just want to cry. I have asked to bring Yoda (my emotional support dog) but unfortunately, I am not allowed and there isn't anyone available at that time to come with me. I feel all alone and I feel vulnerable. I don't know what to expect from this meeting and no one has told me either, so obviously I'm dreading it.
Anxiety before?🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴⭕⭕
Do you even have to ask? Were my ramblings above not enough to tell you I'm bricking it and I'd really rather just stay at home under my lovely warm duvet with my dog watching Disney films? I see. Well for those of you who want more details, I'm so nervous I have to go back and double check that I've locked the front door (I know it's a bad day whenever this happens). I am armed with my phone and a notepad already full of answers to any and every question I thought they would ask. (side note: my anxiety means I get to be overprepared for every situation so I think I'm in control of the outcome) Here I am hoping that my prepared answers will be enough to make them think I'm not a failure or a crazy person. I'm also hoping they don't ask me something that I do not have an answer too. I've asked to have a female do my interview, I knew this would make me more comfortable and this little planning is why my anxiety was an 8 and not a 10.

Anxiety During?🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴⭕⭕⭕⭕
The lady who did my interview had a desk which was the furthest away from the designated waiting area. This meant that other peoples eyes couldn't wonder our way and it also meant I felt I had more privacy and was able to open up more. The lady was brilliant she was calm and took her time explaining everything to me. I could not have asked for a better person. It's more encouraging to have someone who will sit there, listen to you and take their time to understand. If someone were to have rushed through everything and not taken me as a person into consideration I imagine I would have felt rather deflated. My anxiety decreased the longer I was with this lady and my profile and assessment page almost complete. We had filled in everything together and I finally felt like I was understood and was on the right path to getting the help I needed. With this Lady in my corner, I felt like I would be ready to get back to work in no time.

Anxiety After?🔴🔴🔴⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕
I'm so proud of myself I'm finally on the right path, and just took my first step towards that career ladder that everyone else my age seems to be on. It's incredibly rewarding to do something out of your comfort zone. It may seem so small to so many but this was huge for me. My feeling of being a failure had all but vanished in there and I was reassured that I am not alone in my situation and there are others just like me out there doing the same thing. Hearing simple words of encouragement really can go along way and I'm ever so grateful for the lady I saw today. I was even able to meet up with a friend at the pub and go for a meal afterward as a reward!

Update?
It took me months to get another appointment, the back and forth got rather tedious. I had another appointment with a different person and was told all the information I had been previously given was incorrect. I was angry and deflated, I'm trying my best every day and doing everything I can. It is beyond annoying to find out that the help I had been promised was not, in fact, available to me and I felt alone and isolated all over again. I walked out of the appointment with simple targets set for six months time. I felt ridiculed and am astounded at how little help I got when asked.

If you have any Challenge Ideas; Please comment down below and let me know.
Remember to check out The Video!
Thanks for Reading
xo

Enjoy Day 19? Why not Read or Watch Day 18?

Struggling with Mental Health?
Helpful Links:
    Infoline: 03000 123 3393
    Call: 111 (for urgent needs)
    Helpline: 116 123 (UK & ROI)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular Posts