I did the 10 day style awakening challenge

I have followed Lauren Messiah (Personal Stylist, LA) online for a while now (since I discovered she was one of the founding members of the New York School of Styling). She has an amazing Website and a Youtube Channel full of tips and tricks to achieve a personal style. Messiah has become one of my go-to people online for style advice, her wardrobe is to die for and her words of wisdom are like drops of gold. I received an email from Lauren informing me about the 10 Day Style Awakening challenge and watched a video on her Intergram stories (@laurenmessiah) explaining the details. I decided to sign up for the challenge, download the pdf and join the facebook group, to help me wake up from my style rut. 

Day 1

Whenever my style best reflects my personality, is when I feel I have been surrounded by the best people. I know my style is currently holding me back, I have anxiety and depression and I have let that become my identity and control my wardrobe choices; dark baggy clothes where I made sure 100% of my body was covered. I wanted to hide away from the world as best I could. Now, I know and make an effort to not let my anxiety be my Identity, I am more than my mental illness and my confidence has (slowly) grown, but my wardrobe still reflects the "comfort zone".  My body is changing my lumps and bumps are getting bigger and I'm finally gaining some weight back. I'm now a lot healthier, which I am incredibly happy about, I want to ooze confidence from the inside out, but I feel my outfit choices are blocking that confidence. I don't put on clothes and think "I look Great" or "I feel Great", I think feeling confident and comfortable in what you're wearing enables you to look confident and comfortable and changes your attitude also. I need help.

Day 2

(My typical daily outfit -you can see why I need to do this challenge)

The picture above was taken for Day 2, It represents what I wear on a daily basis, I showed this, my friend, recently and she asked me "what happened? you used to look so effortlessly glamorous.". I thanked her, but couldn't answer her question, getting dressed has become a chore and whilst I can still style my friends and loved ones, I've become clueless when it comes to styling myself. My daily outfits are comfy jeans or sweatpants, a sweatshirt or baggy t-shirt, and my trusty trainers, the look screams comfort, stay at home, chill day. In this outfit, I honestly feel inadequate and uncomfortable, which probably sounds odd, because it's all comfortable clothing. I feel as though I'm not portraying the person I am or the person I want to be. Nothing about this outfit says confident, nothing about this outfit says I kick ass every day tackling my mental health, I work hard volunteering, working with charities, and am a responsible human that kept a dog alive for over a year. The energy you portray to others resonates through your outfit and my outfit is bleugh.

Today was also the first day I got involved in the Facebook group created by Lauren Messiah, most of the people taking on the style challenge joined the group and a few started posting their entries. I was terrified but I wanted to gain the most from this experience, and using all the resources available to me seemed the best way. Like with most things I do I felt nervous and nauseous, I close my FB page as soon as I've posted and I want to hide and retreat underneath the covers. I feel so exposed. I feel naked. Nearly 500 women including my icon and queen Lauren Messiah have seen a little bit of my backstory and the style slump I've got myself in. Alright, Ashley breathe! Wow, this is a massive step for me. It could be that no one has read it and no-one will comment but I will wait and leave it till tomorrow.

Day 3
I'm crying. I decided to leave the comments until today, it would give my emotions time to settle and I would be prepared. Which is probably one of the reasons I didn't sleep properly last night. I  wake up to 3 different comments left by 3 different ladies. I'm crying as I'm reading the second one, not because of any malice, but rather the kindness and support other women are giving me, feels incredible. I've never known other women support me like this unless they are my friends, family, or drunk in the club bathrooms.

Pinterest (and me, taking on the style notes the other ladies gave me.)

Does anyone else scroll through Pinterest dreaming of wearing the beaut outfits displayed in a mosaic format on a screen and then go to get dressed and put on the same bland outfit? Yeah, me too! This has made me sink further into my frump phase, dismissing what I thought looked cool or nice at the tiniest detail, eg. her hair colour is different, she's wearing heels, she has accessories I don't. I should have been looking at the images before me more realistically, but also positively. I used to love clothes and I considered fashion a form of art, If you're going to cover your body it might as well be with something beautiful, I'm starting to realise I've lost this mindset. Looking at other people's outfits, fashion shows and bloggers are brilliant for inspiration.
I would often find myself getting upset because I couldn't wear the exact same outfit but I could have easily managed to infuse parts of it with my style and outfit. Be it a dress, a pattern, a block of colour, every person of every shape and size will have to adapt to a style that suits their figure and personality. I can do that, I've done it for years through trial and error, I know which patterns shapes and colours work well, and what is practical for my lifestyle. Today's challenge has opened my eyes to the wardrobe of possibilities I had closed myself off from.

Day 4
I have actually already completed this challenge after a conversation with my therapist and a read of Marie Kondo's 'The life-changing magic of tidying' (must-read!). I felt a little relieved by this, I had been somewhere on the right path before I derailed into my slump. I got rid of anything that didn't bring me joy or that brought on negative emotions or feelings. It's actually a little ironic because at the moment getting dressed feels like a very negative experience for me. It's a chore and not something I look forward to, I used to love getting dressed, it was my time to be creative and express myself before going to work, or uni or hanging out with friends, it was the part of the day I could unapologetically take some time for myself.

(I was holding onto this because it was a birthday present 8 years ago and I felt guilty, but it doesn't fit)

Lauren was having none of this and asked us all to have a good look in our closets and the rest of the house, and find an item that has emotional baggage. My secret wardrobe problem is that I keep things people give to me as a gift even when I don't wear it because I feel guilty for throwing it out. It's easier for me to keep it in my closet (wardrobe, can't you tell this is an American challenge? I'm already changing my language, haha), then have the guilt of throwing it away. Shoes, bags, clothes, some of which I have never used or worn, just taking up all the space in my wardrobe. Enough is enough, I need to let go.

Day 5

(Couple of tops I bought to go help achieve the style I want.)

They say to never go food shopping when you're hungry and to always make a list. So why do we not do the same when clothing or homeware shopping? I used to be a big fan of retail therapy, until the day I realised (much like alcohol) the little buzz I get for picking up a gem or discounted item, fades rather quickly. I'd often be left with an item I'd probably only wear once or twice, or that might not go with anything else I own. Even when on a budget, I'd impulse buy, "because It was on Offer", even when I had a specific item I needed to buy, I could come back with a couple of bags filled with goodies except for the item I needed "because I got distracted".
The floor plan and lighting of the store are much like Instagram, and Pinterest, setting out outfits and style that are 'on trend' enticing you to buy the things the things that you have seen online and on your favourite influencers account or channel.
 I've already started to make a little checklist in my mind when I look at clothes and surprisingly for this bargain queen the price tag is the last thing I look at. I ask myself, Do I like it? Do I need it? Can I afford it? and then I'll try it oni n store.

Lots of women in the group used their notes in their phone as a shopping list so they always had it with them to refer back to, it's such a simple thing to do (that I probably would have never thought of if it wasn't for Lauren). 

Day 6

Today I have realised that I no longer really care about owning designer brands. Sure I'm still a bit of a materialistic person, who isn't? but I no longer feel that the ultimate goal is a designer handbag or coat. Personally, the ultimate goal would be to shop sustainably, vegan and eco-friendly. No, I'm not going to go on a rant about how we need to save the planet because it's pretty obvious, all the signs are there and the resources to change our polluting patterns are already in place and being developed, we just have to use them. I'll stop there.
I'd still rather buy quality than quantity and invest in staple pieces I know will last me a while. I also want to know that the company I'm buying from cares for their work-force. I would like to know the fabrics and materials used to make the clothes I am buying are sourced sustainably, ethically and without cruelty towards animals. If money was no object, what would you buy?

Day 7
I've decided to wear an item that we all have in our wardrobe. The 'I love it but don't have the confidence to wear it' item that hangs with hope in the wardrobe ready to be selected and shine beams of confidence off your body. This item of clothing is both with lust or love, and everyone, yes even you! has one in their wardrobe. My blue check shirt with frilled sleeves and scalloped detailed scuffs is the one item I love but have never ever worn. What's your secret item of clothing that's never seen the light of day?

(Western Chic Anyone?)

I pop it on, do up the buttons and already feel foolish wearing this, can I pull off this beauty of a shirt? Apparently so, as I am greeted with a mass array of compliments, not only on the fact that the colour suits me and the shape of the garment is nice but also "that top is very you" and "I feel it really shows your personality". Yes! I have achieved something a lot of people dream too, I have picked an item of clothing that represents me, shows off a little bit of my personality and ties in with the personal style I am aiming to achieve. I feel fab and actually have a boost of confidence and skip in my step. I have aced today's challenge and feel great about it. What do think of my shirt? Was I fooling myself or did I actually pull it off?

Day 8.
With my new found clothing confidence (Thank You Lauren Messiah and Day 7) I decide to dress a little boldly once again. Today I have a lot of errands to run and am busy in the morning and having a family afternoon, so I pieced together a more comfy and casual outfit. Instead of opting for my go to grey, I find myself putting on a bright yellow top, Bright Yellow! (Hello, who is this colour queen? and where has she been hiding? Yes please and thank you)

I realise quite quickly that my casual look is inspired by Gigi Hadid and a few other fashion moguls dotted about on my Pinterest (loving all the yellow). I also realise that depending on what type of look I'm going for I will have different inspirations. For a smart-casual look, (the effortlessly elegant dream look) I go to Aimee Song (@songofstyle) or Chriselle Lim (@chrisellelim). For a Smarter look, (the professional female boss) I will browse the outfits of Emma Waston (@emmawatson) and Victoria Beckham (@victoriabeckham). For a basic and casual look (the chill and hang, effortlessly cool, 'oh I just threw this together') I will check out Binky Felstead (@binkyfelstead) and Gigi Hadid's (@gigihadid) style. Who are your style Icons?
None of these women or their style's singularly fit the image or style I wish to have or embody, mind you none of these women is the same shape and size as me either. When focusing on the key things I like about their style and outfits, I can start to figure out how to move forward with my personal style and wardrobe.

Day 9. 
Ahh, It's almost over! I don't want it to end! Before this challenge, I was stuck in a rut and even though I had tried my go-to style overhauls, -closet (wardrobe) clearouts and mood boards, and shopping sprees- I found myself reverting back to the same thought patterns I had previously had, and letting my mood dress me rather than me it.

I want to break this cycle and this challenge has given me the tools to do so. I'm now going to implement going through my wardrobe carefully and letting go of things that don't fit. If it's too small, it needs to go, I love my food too much and am a little too lazy to stick to a concrete work out routine. The shopping list has already changed my thought process (goodbye impulse buying, you were a good frenemy) shopping with my head rather than my heart may is the way forward.  I have a vast array of clothes but I wear the same ones in the same ways soI'm going to try some different combinations and I'll wear what makes me feel great instead of just 'comfortable'. As they say in The Greatest Showman Comfort is the Enemy of Progress.


Day 10

We've all seen Groundhog day right? (If you haven't you should definitely go watch it after you've finished this blog post). I feel as though I have been stuck in a style rut for so long, getting up every day and essentially wearing the same outfit, getting dressed has become boring and more of a chore and I never want to feel like this again. As I have said before this challenge has given me the tools I needed to break the cycle which I have successfully been doing the past few days (hello colour queen and cropped mustard top). It's now up to me to continue rediscovering the beauty and magic of a good outfit. I'm 9/10 committed to keeping everything that I've learned and applying it on a daily basis. Why not 10/10 you ask? Well I'm sure I mentioned above that I'm a little lazy, and I do love a good day in my sweats, or when at that time of the month I need to put my comfort above everything else (ladies you know what I mean). I feel almost like a changed woman and now see a wardrobe full of possibilities.

I cannot Thank  Lauren Messiah enough for her Style Awakening Challenge! I am finally awake all thanks to this inspiring and generous stylist (it's not every day an in-demand stylist gives you so much info and support for free!). I also cannot Thank the women within the Style Awakening Social Media Group, I have never known women supporting each other in such a beautiful way. One of the ladies started a separate group for us to continue helping and supporting each other and our style tips and choices, it's a community I am incredibly proud and grateful to be a part of.

Go check out Lauren Messiah's Website to find out more on the 10 Day Style Awakening Challenge, and her services.
Thanks for Reading