Day 42 Without Anxiety
Outdoor Cinema Event
What's The Challenge?
The Outdoor Cinema Event.
Why The Anxiety?
Day 40 and Day 41 were all about the Outdoor cinema event prep, organisation and promotion/advertising. As the day of the event got ever closer I was worried. Here is a list (in no particular order) of the worries floating around my head: I would be ill/unable to attend, I would be able to attend but get ill there, no one would turn up, the weather would decide to wreak havoc, the screen wouldn't turn up, the power would shut off, the vendors wouldn't turn up, the airfield would be shut, the film wouldn't play, there would be audio problems, something awful would happen, someone would get injured, the whole event could end up a disaster, just to name a few. Have you organised a charity event before? or event before? What if no one turned up? What if we didn't raise any/enough funds? What if it rained or there was a storm? For a mind that goes straight to worst-case scenarios may be working in events isn't the best idea? (I've just learned this is called catastrophising and can confirm to those who think I'm talentless, catastrophising is a talent I own) I would love to calm down and enjoy the experience but my heart is racing, I feel nauseous, sweaty, tight chested, and I feel stomach cramps (stay in your lane IBS).
Anxiety before? 🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕
Nervous Excited, the sort of nervous excitement before a school play or a roller coaster, before the first soiree/gathering you've organised. The nervous excited that Elizabeth James feels before jetting off to America to see her ex-husband Nick Parker for the first time in years. (The Parent Trap Reference: 10 points if you got it, 5 extra points if you read it in Annie Parker's voice). I could feel the pit of my stomach slowly trying to turn over and bring nausea with it, but I tried to compartmentalize, focus on one thing at a time: brush my teeth, wash my face, make breakfast, get dressed, get to the location, help set up. I tried to keep my mind focused on the task at hand rather than overthink and catastrophise about something in the future that may not even happen. I was given great advice by the events team yesterday, that everything that could have been done has been done, we've planned everything down to a t, and anything that happens now is sort of out of our hands so there's no point worrying about it. If I'm honest I never thought this day would actually arrive, so I think I started the day off actually feeling a little proud of myself and the wonderful team I have had the opportunity to work with. I also managed to eat breakfast and lunch today which is an added bonus!
I got picked up by a member of the team and we drove to the location, as we did so I started to feel the nerves kick in, my biggest worries at this point were that no one would turn up or one of the suppliers (aka, the screen people) wouldn't turn up.
The set up for the event ran smoothly and I'm grateful that there was lots to do, I found that keeping busy kept me calm, from moving tables to set up barriers, to raising little marquees and getting the wrist bands and walkways ready. If I was busy I was calm, it was only actually when vendors started to arrive, the food and drinks stalls began to set up, the screen had arrived and was set in place that I could feel a sense of doubt sink into place, so far everything had gone smoothly, so what exactly is going to go wrong?
I got picked up by a member of the team and we drove to the location, as we did so I started to feel the nerves kick in, my biggest worries at this point were that no one would turn up or one of the suppliers (aka, the screen people) wouldn't turn up.
The set up for the event ran smoothly and I'm grateful that there was lots to do, I found that keeping busy kept me calm, from moving tables to set up barriers, to raising little marquees and getting the wrist bands and walkways ready. If I was busy I was calm, it was only actually when vendors started to arrive, the food and drinks stalls began to set up, the screen had arrived and was set in place that I could feel a sense of doubt sink into place, so far everything had gone smoothly, so what exactly is going to go wrong?
Anxiety During? 🔴🔴🔴🔴⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕
I didn't have much time to fuss about what may or may not happen before the public started to arrive, we had previously printed out the list of people who had pre-booked tickets, but tickets were also available to purchase on the door, via cash or card. We had set into place a wristband system to know who had paid and who hadn't and got into the flow of greeting customers. I paused in between customers when I was told to go and eat something but there were little problems to solve and so I stayed close to others taking a bite or two in between helping out, I knew that if I sat down to eat, I 1, wouldn't have been able to swallow anything down and 2, my mind would have time to play about with scenarios, so I kept busy. We only had minor problems, people who had brought glass bottles with them, and I solved that with raffle ticket stubs, a Stubb on the bottle and a Stubb to the owner who could fill up a plastic cup rather than taking the glass bottle on site. We had a system in place in no time and it was working, I felt at ease in my role, greeting customers and found I had little time to worry.
A little while after the queue had made their way to settle before the screen and the adverts, (short factual and fun videos, and infographics, one of which I had made in office) were playing for our audience before the sun had set enough to roll the film. As Grease shone from the screen as the event manager turned to me and said: " Well Done, this was your event, your idea came to life and has gone very well, you did this, well done." I insisted that I couldn't have done it without the team (which is the truth) but I could have cried at that moment because she was right, a little idea I had had, had come to life, the screen was there, the vendors were there and people from different areas had turned up to this event, my event. In all honesty, I couldn't quite believe it.
That's when we stopped and had a moment to relax, to sit down and chat a little or watch a bit of the film, and be ready for any problems that may arise, after sipping on a hot chocolate and chatting for a while, anxiety decided to join the party. I couldn't believe it, I had done soo well today that even though there had been sightings of anxiety, it had been from a way away, but here it was up close and personal and trying to take front of stage. After a trip or two to the bathroom I had to explain to the event manager that I wasn't feeling great, I said it might have been the hot chocolate, so we have a little chat and realised it's because it was the first time that day I'd allowed myself to take a step back and not keep myself or mind busy. So we occupied ourselves with a few little jobs, disassembling some equipment and more engaging conversation and before I knew it the film has finished and people started making their way home.
A little while after the queue had made their way to settle before the screen and the adverts, (short factual and fun videos, and infographics, one of which I had made in office) were playing for our audience before the sun had set enough to roll the film. As Grease shone from the screen as the event manager turned to me and said: " Well Done, this was your event, your idea came to life and has gone very well, you did this, well done." I insisted that I couldn't have done it without the team (which is the truth) but I could have cried at that moment because she was right, a little idea I had had, had come to life, the screen was there, the vendors were there and people from different areas had turned up to this event, my event. In all honesty, I couldn't quite believe it.
That's when we stopped and had a moment to relax, to sit down and chat a little or watch a bit of the film, and be ready for any problems that may arise, after sipping on a hot chocolate and chatting for a while, anxiety decided to join the party. I couldn't believe it, I had done soo well today that even though there had been sightings of anxiety, it had been from a way away, but here it was up close and personal and trying to take front of stage. After a trip or two to the bathroom I had to explain to the event manager that I wasn't feeling great, I said it might have been the hot chocolate, so we have a little chat and realised it's because it was the first time that day I'd allowed myself to take a step back and not keep myself or mind busy. So we occupied ourselves with a few little jobs, disassembling some equipment and more engaging conversation and before I knew it the film has finished and people started making their way home.
Anxiety After? 🔴🔴⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕
After the last customer had left, the vendors were already packing away and most of our equipment was ready to load in the van. We did a sweep of the area to make sure it was as clean as when we arrived if not a little cleaner. We cleared our bits away and made sure the area was safe and all our signage had been removed. Once we were all packed away the team parted ways and I headed home. We had done it. I'm not sure I soaked it all in, but hope I did. This is one of my biggest achievements to date, at that moment I wasn't just proud of myself but of the amazing team that helped make this a reality, so grateful to them and all the people who showed up to the event. All those months of planning and feeling anxious had paid off, we did it, I did it, my event happened.
Update?
I'm so pleased we raised funds for Alabaré Christian care and support, they are such an amazing charity that does so much good work for Veterans, Homeless and Marginalised people. They have helped and supported me and given me the opportunity to learn new skills, to plan and host a fundraising event. Please check out their website and see all the amazing things Alabare do, how you can help, donate or their future events too.
If you have any Challenge Ideas; Please comment down below and let me know.
Thanks for Reading
xo
Enjoy Day 42? Why not catch up on Day 41?
Struggling with Mental Health?
Helpful Links:
Infoline: 03000 123 3393
Call: 111 (for urgent needs)
....Samaritans: https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you
Helpline: 116 123 (UK & ROI)
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