Who Should Pay On First date?
Hello Chums,
Do these stories sound familiar? Boy meets girl, the boy asks the girl out, the boy uses his saved up pocket money to take the girl out. When adult -if the boy has not fallen in love and married his childhood sweetheart- the man will meet a girl, ask her out and pay for the date with his wages.
This is the story that has been told from generation to generation, but I have a feeling our generation will be last of the boy meets girl stories that saturate the romance market. The walls of gender norms, societal norms, and dating norms are breaking down. I for one welcome the change, I'm not very fond of the picture that used to get painted, (despite being a romantic and a sucker for a good love story) I believe in equality and feminism (by the way they're basically the same thing).
Last week I published a blog post about whether women should ask men out, because believe it or not that is still something that gets talked about and debated in this day and age. After finding out that unsurprisingly there is still a social stigma attached to deviating from the gender roles, the invisible barrier is breaking and we found out that most of my friends (who took part) are open to this change. It was interesting to see that even though these roles were set in place by the patriarchal society, it was the females who presented the issues of stigma and social norms within their responses. I was intrigued by this response and decided to take this little research project one step further and go into another taboo subject: Money.
I used survey monkey (not an ad) to set up a poll in order to find out who should pay on a first date. This situation wasn't necessarily based on a heterosexual relationship and most of the answers were gender neutral, apart from one. (the survey was anonymous and open to everyone) The options of who should pay for the first date were:
- The person who arranged the date,
- The person who didn't arrange the date
- The man because 'It's traditional'
- Split it in half, each person pays equal share
- Each person pays for themselves
I knew option 3 might ruffle a few liberal feathers, but I also know some people still have that 'traditional' view or mindset. I wanted to know what people think when they go on a date, and whether dating etiquette really has changed, so I added a comment section too for those who wanted to use it.
In the western world, arranged marriages are near to extinct, we no longer need a chaperone when dating to protect a woman's status of virtue (imagine Netflix and chill with your aunt sat at the end of the sofa). Women have the right to go and do as they please and be independent, gay marriage is finally legal (I know not everywhere but that another issue entirely). So, When it comes to an age-old debate of who should pay on a first date, where do you stand? What are your views and opinions?
My opinion? When I've been asked on a date I've always offered to pay for half, but when I've arranged the date, I've always gone to pay in full. If the person I'm on a date with insists that I let them pay in full but then make sure I pay for the second (if there is a second date).
The results of the poll show that 66% of people believe that the bill at the end of the first date should be 'split in half', with both people paying an equal share. The second highest response was 'each person pays for themselves' at 16%. Only 6% of people said that the man should pay, and no one expected to pay for the date if they didn't arrange it.
After checking the results I headed to the comments section, there seemed to be 2 main types of comments made: "Offer to split the bill, but if the guy offers, let him pay", and "Always split unless the person in question arranges a very expensive date.".
There is still a lingering presence of the 'traditional' etiquette in the responses, and even more so in the comments provided, with some people saying they would offer to split but 'hope' the man pays. In my opinion, if you're hoping the other person pays and are only offering to pay to be polite, you are still in this 'traditional' mindset.
However, I do agree with anyone that said they don't feel they should be expected to pay half of the date if it was very expensive. I can understand if you don't want to pay for someone's lobster if you only ordered the cucumber soup (yes, that's a Friends reference, 3 points if you got that).
Despite traces of the 'traditional' etiquette, it would seem that dating etiquette is definitely changing when it comes to money. People would prefer to go 50/50 when dating rather than have someone paying the full bill. You may want to be careful if you're only offering to be polite because you could end up having to pay. If someone asks you on a date but expects you to pay for everything, they're probably not worth any more of your time.
If you are lucky in love and have a date for this Valentine's day, (don't worry if not, I don't either) How will you be splitting the bill?
Thanks for Reading
xo
In the western world, arranged marriages are near to extinct, we no longer need a chaperone when dating to protect a woman's status of virtue (imagine Netflix and chill with your aunt sat at the end of the sofa). Women have the right to go and do as they please and be independent, gay marriage is finally legal (I know not everywhere but that another issue entirely). So, When it comes to an age-old debate of who should pay on a first date, where do you stand? What are your views and opinions?
My opinion? When I've been asked on a date I've always offered to pay for half, but when I've arranged the date, I've always gone to pay in full. If the person I'm on a date with insists that I let them pay in full but then make sure I pay for the second (if there is a second date).
After checking the results I headed to the comments section, there seemed to be 2 main types of comments made: "Offer to split the bill, but if the guy offers, let him pay", and "Always split unless the person in question arranges a very expensive date.".
There is still a lingering presence of the 'traditional' etiquette in the responses, and even more so in the comments provided, with some people saying they would offer to split but 'hope' the man pays. In my opinion, if you're hoping the other person pays and are only offering to pay to be polite, you are still in this 'traditional' mindset.
However, I do agree with anyone that said they don't feel they should be expected to pay half of the date if it was very expensive. I can understand if you don't want to pay for someone's lobster if you only ordered the cucumber soup (yes, that's a Friends reference, 3 points if you got that).
Despite traces of the 'traditional' etiquette, it would seem that dating etiquette is definitely changing when it comes to money. People would prefer to go 50/50 when dating rather than have someone paying the full bill. You may want to be careful if you're only offering to be polite because you could end up having to pay. If someone asks you on a date but expects you to pay for everything, they're probably not worth any more of your time.
If you are lucky in love and have a date for this Valentine's day, (don't worry if not, I don't either) How will you be splitting the bill?
Thanks for Reading
xo
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