Day 23 Without Anxiety

Beginners Ballet Class


What's The Challenge?
Attend adult beginners ballet class.
Why The Anxiety?
I had attended ballet class at the dancing school the previous year but had to stop the lessons due to medical reasons. I have always loved dancing, I find that when I dance I forget about everything else, it'a brilliant form of escapism. However ballet is more structured, the positions and posture can be tricky especially for a tall girl or woman like me. You stand out, I stand out. For someone who tries her hardest to blend in, standing out is not something I feel comfortable doing. I panic if ever I feel under pressure if I feel like everyone is watching or can see me. Anyone who has done any form of dance or ballet knows, that there is no-where to hide, from the full-length mirrors to the bar work to the beady eye of the teacher, nothing goes unnoticed. I also feel pressure to be at what I am doing, if I mess up everyone will know, and I don't

Anxiety before?🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴⭕⭕⭕
I want to cry, I always want to cry. The problem I have is that I let myself get so overwhelmed and then get scared of the overwhelming sensations. It's a constant battle and I'm not entirely sure that I am winning. I start to panic as I get ready (note to self, get everything ready the night before so that I don't have to run around like a headless chicken), running around searching for all the usual items, phone, keys, money, oh and my ballet slippers. By the time I've completed my morning routine and found all the missing items I could, I'm hot and sweaty and realise it's already gone past the time I was supposed to leave the house. I'm late. Running from my house to the dance studio did not help my hot and sweaty situation. Despite the run, I was still late and new I would have to walk into the class with everyone staring at me, oh the horror.

Anxiety During?🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕
Despite Initial wobbles and worries, my concentration soon switched focus from over self-conscious and worrying about everything that might go wrong, to the movements I need to recreate, my posture and limbs. I'm enthralled by the music, the bar work and routine. Everything else had flown out of my mind. However, instead of staying in the dancing bliss, I overthought everything. Is my hand in the right place, are my feet in the correct position, are my shoulders relaxed, am I too tall for ballet, wait, what was that move, how on earth do people do this? I was overthinking everything and I was starting to feel physically and emotionally tired. Luckily for me the group of women I was with and the teacher knew how to laugh, they knew when to concentrate and when to relax a little. Our teacher was fabulous and made us all feel incredibly comfortable and confident, with her witt and words of encouragement.

Anxiety After?🔴🔴🔴🔴⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕
I'm not sure how I feel, initially, I was super proud that I had completed another challenge and I had done something I loved to do and felt serene. Walking back I started to think over the lesson and worry about my posture as I walking. You're under a magnifying glass when in a ballet class and I was far from the perfect student I felt I needed to be. I'm really pleased I went but I'm sure if ballet actually suits me and my body.
Update?
I had decided to go back to ballet, unfortunately, I ended up breaking my toe, and couldn't walk for a little while let alone dance. I had missed far too many lessons by the time it had fully healed and was ready to be danced on. I did enjoy the lesson, it definitely pushed me out of my comfort zone. I feel excited to try more activities for my challenges.

If you have any Challenge Ideas; Please comment down below and let me know.
Remember to check out The Video!

Thanks for Reading
xo

Enjoy Day 23? Why not Read/Watch Day 21 & 22?

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