Day 24 Without Anxiety

The First Upload


What's The Challenge?
To upload the First Day without anxiety to the Blog and Youtube page.

Why The Anxiety?
I've uploaded blog posts talking about my mental health and my situation before, but I've always managed to keep most things about my anxiety and depression private. This upload makes me feel vulnerable, it's not just for myself, everyone will see it. I feel like I am naked in a glass box and all the world is able to see me. This time I'm not just uploading a Blog Post I'm uploading a video to Youtube too. Quite frankly, I'm figuratively pooing my pants with fear. This project has been personal to me, it's been myself and my friends, it's been something I wasn't yet ready to share with everyone else. I'm putting myself and my little project out onto the world wide web and I'm petrified.

Anxiety before? 🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴⭕
I have written and rewritten, edited and re-edited, the blog post and the video. My Adventures and emotions displayed ready and waiting for the world to see. My hands are shaking, I'm nervous, I can feel my airways slowly tightening until I feel breathless, then comes the sweat. My sweaty, shaking palms run across the keyboard and play with the mouse until I'm ready. Will I ever be ready? I'm proud of myself for doing this and doing the 23 challenges so far. This challenge is the hardest I have done so far, and all I have to do is tap a few keys and move the mouse. I'm still shaking.

Anxiety During? 🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕
Once all the editing and last minute changes are done, I'm finally ready to upload. I made a goal, a target, a deadline if you will about the date and time I needed to upload by, and I was adamant to keep it. This had been in the diary for a while and now here I am; uploading... (someone pass me a sick bag!)

Anxiety After? 🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴⭕⭕⭕
The button has been pushed, the video is online and the blog post published. The wave of relief that I have come to know and love rushes over me. Another task, another challenge done, completed, ticked off the list. However, this challenge was different to all the others, my own joy and satisfaction of completing a task soon dissolve and my mind kicks into overdrive worrying about other's perceptions of me. I have hidden in the background for a while now and suddenly I'm out front, center stage with a spotlight on me following my every move. It's when I start my breathing exercising I think back to why I wanted to post my challenges in the first place. It's not for fame, a status or social recognition, it's not even the 'if it isn't online did it even happen?' phase, I wanted to post my challenges and my journey dealing and recovering help not only myself but others too. My breathing exercises and the thought that these challenges could help someone, anyone, who may also be struggling, helped to calm me down and get on with my day.
Update?
This one was a bit of a time Jump for you. (wibbly wobbly Timey Wimey) I posted the first Day Without Anxiety on 23/09/17 and today is the12 /04/18. It's taken a little while to get here (for different -mostly bore you to death- reasons) but as you have already seen I continued to upload and will continue to do so. I've also been overwhelmed with the amount of positive response I have received either encouragement, challenge ideas or people's stories of their mental health journey. I feel proud and blessed to have been able to help in different ways. I'm here if you want to get in touch, either comment down below or message me via the contact page, you also get in touch with me through my social media (twitter/@thebashley, instagram/@thebashleyy, facebook/@thebashblog).

If you have any Challenge Ideas; Please comment down below and let me know.
Remember to check out The Video!

Thanks for Reading
xo

Enjoy Day 24? Why not Read/Watch Day 23?
Catch up on all the 100 Days Without Anxiety

Struggling with Mental Health?
Helpful Links:
    Infoline: 03000 123 3393
    Call: 111 (for urgent needs)
    Helpline: 116 123 (UK & ROI)

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